Saturday, April 4, 2009

I'm still alive & kickin

I've decided to start posting again. I need somewhere to vent my frustrations, apprehensions and thoughts.
The past 5 months have pretty much been a living hell. Joe, my older son just lost his mind and I don't know why or what brought it on. After months of violent behavior, getting kicked out of Day Hab, having to pull my car over to keep from getting hit and getting calls everyday from school I jusst broke down, took him to JPS Psychiatrist ER with the thought I was going to walk out of there without him. I was ready. But of course he is behaving like a charmed two year old listening to his DVD and ALL SMILES. The dr on staff was truely a nice woman and listened to me go on & on & on. I was crying, laughing and just hanging my head. She decided to try him on a new med. Well, the results are...... Joe is about 80% back to normal. I see smiling and laughing and happy moods. Still a little bit of aggression but nothing like before.
The moral to my storey today is....... If you have kids and they are normal. You need to get up every day and thank god he gave you that. I don't care how rotten they are. If they are rotten you probably made them that way so take responsibility. Anyway, who would have ever thought that one day my baby boy, my son that I so longed for would end up being my abuser. It is still hard for me to wrap my head around. Lot's of blaming myself too. What could I have done different.
Now on a more positive note. I have another kid that is damn near perfect or that's my story and I'm sticking to it. He is in Kansas this weekend with Baylor baseball team. Seems he has listened to one thing I always preached to him. I would tell him, kid you have to work, we aren't rich and never will be. So, the key is to wake up each day and like going to work. What could be better than making a living around baseball. Not saying it's an easy job, but doing something you love it the key to a happy life.
Happy Saturday to you! I'll be back.

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