Wednesday, April 22, 2009

MId Life Crisis?

I'm wondering if I'm going through a mid life crisis. Do women experience that sort of thing? Lately I question my purpose on this lovely earth. What am I supposed to be doing. I ask myself all the time if getting up, going to work, coming home & going to bed will be what I do for the rest of my life. I am unfulfilled. Something is missing and I can't put my finger on it.
I can't sleep lately and wake up often in the middle of the night. I know menopause is a big part of how I feel. Geez, I have gained so much weight and can't get it off no matter how much I exercise. I feel so down on myself because of that. Dr. Phil says I'm low on testosterone. Hum, guess I better get me some steroids and fix that. Or I h ave been told Bio Identical.
Part of my anxiety is the fact that Joe is graduating in about 6 weeks. I have to pinch myself to remember that life will turn upside down when this happens. I think I keep putting it out of my head or tell myself "you've got time to deal with this" because I don't want to deal with it. Honestly, this scares the crap out of me. I am terrified as to what will happen when he does not get on that bus on June 8th. This is a time where I have to practice "let go & let god". I keep telling myself I have to have faith.
I'll just have to sit back and see what happens. :)

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