Wednesday, January 30, 2008

2008 - What's in Store?

All of my girlfriends tell me that 2008 is OUR year. I wonder why they think that? Do they have some premonition that I don't have? HUM.... I keep telling myself "it could be true". I suppose we will just have to sit back and wait. Tina and I talked yesterday. She passed a Human Resource test that will open so many job opportunities for her. She told me she is finally on track mentally and needs to get on track physically. She reminded me of how men would stop and look at us when we used to go out together. I had to remind her we were 10 years younger. :) She argued that we still have it, just have to convince the men that we do.
We are going to meet tomorrow in downtown Ft. Worth for happy hour. I'll have to get my game on and work it.
My thought on dating. It sucks. I hate dating. It would have been fun 10 years ago but that was not an option at that time. Now, in my late 40's and I am trying to date. Most men my age that are not already married have such incredible flaws and bad personalities that only a desperate woman would even consider them. Well, guess we will see if my friends are right, see what happens in 2008.
Stephen started his basketball inter murals. I had to ask if he even got to play. He informed me not only did he start, he made 11 points and they won. So cool that he is getting to experience what college is really about. I mailed his basketball shoes to him yesterday. I was at the UPS store. The kid that waited on me said "wow, your kid goes to Baylor". It made me proud to hear a kid say that.
Alrighty, I am going to close this out. I'm not feeling it today and this is getting boring. Maybe I will have better news after Thursday's happy hour!

Friday, January 25, 2008

Feeling Better

Today, I have the day off. The weather guys listened to me too. I prayed today would not be a snow day for the schools. I did not want to spend my day off with the Big Guy. Really need some alone time in my house. Actually I need to clean my house. :)
Great news! We got an offer from a land company for 17k an acre and implementing the SWAPO lease with few revisions. I can't express how happy I am this endeavor is almost over. This has taken quite a toll on me. Next time I start on a crusade someone please stop me. Actually I am preparing to send a letter to all of the state reps regarding the lack of services for kids with Autism. Maybe it won't turn into anything. They will probably just trash my letter anyway.
Even better news!!!! My kid is really kicking butt at Baylor. He got a JOB, yep a JOB doing something that he absolutely loves. Hanging out with baseball guys and filming them. You know, I always preached to him to LOVE his work because you will have to get up and do it everyday. I think that preaching may have paid off. I can't be more proud of an individual than I am of him. We all could learn a lesson of humility and integrity from this kid. I hope when he does become a coach he will use the same theory that Coach Albus always preached. "If I accomplish nothing more than turning you young men into good Men, Husbands & Fathers, then I have done my job." I know one kid that benefited from knowing him. Of course most of the credit goes to someone else, but he knows that. :)
Wow, I almost forgot to write about men. What am I thinking!!!!! See, it wasn't the first topic so I must be feeling better about things. I do have a date tonight. With Danny. I am actually looking forward to it. I need to get my game on as the girls at work tell me. We are going to have dinner at Fish City and wing it after that. If it is too cold out then I am thinking a dvd and a cozy fire would be a good way to stay warm. We shall see.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Men - Who needs them?

I look forward to the time when I can diary about something other than men. Or at least not have men a first topic of my blog. But this week has really left me "pissed off" regarding men and I must vent. It makes me question who I am and could the problem be me and not them? Of course you know I have finally gotten the goof ball guy to quit calling. Thank goodness he has respected my request. Then let's talk about the guy that was my best friend and then the relationship turned into something much more and I thought, something that would possibly become a long term relationship. I was really off base on that situation. Come to find out he does love me but just doesn't love me enough. He is going to stay with the woman that has his home, his children, his social life and I am sure he will keep praying that she doesn't pull another 20 dry spell of showing no affection and making him think she doesn't even like him. I wish them both well. Because, I was not good enough to take a chance and invest his feelings and life in. I am not a sure thing so I get the heave ho. I was graceful about it because really, do I have a choice?
Then let's move on to the guy I saw several years ago that couldn't keep his penis in his pants. Meaning, he was not faithful to me. And you know, the funny thing is, I did do my part in the relationship. That means I did show affection in all ways, there was not a dry spell to use as an excuse. He just was not willing to commit to me. He called again Friday night to beg me please give him another chance and tell me once again he just did not commit to me at the time. Well, I am looking pretty good now that you have married an obnoxious & hateful woman (your words). He wants me to please know he is so so so so so sorry for what he did. He realizes I am the most incredible person and if only he could have another chance. I will talk with my mom. Whatever she decides is best is what I will go with. If she tells me to send him packing then that is what will happen. If she thinks he is worth another chance, and when I say another that is a huge exaggeration. I will consider giving him another chance.
Alright, the last guy. He calls me Friday evening. After a 45 minute conversation, we are not any closer to a second date than before the phone call. I am going to cut him some slack because his mom just passed away a week before Christmas. But come on, you are 51 years old. Don't you know if you are really ready to go out with a woman and get to know her as opposed to needing more time to grieve for your passing mom. My neighbor says he doesn't realize he is depressed and to give him some more time. It should not be this hard. I deal with and have dealt with issues for the past 12 years that most people can't even begin to comprehend. Yet I wake up each day and hope things will be better and try to be relatively happy. I know, I am not being very sympathetic. You see, I still have one more move to make regarding Joseph, but I am not going to cry about it each day. When it is time, I will do it, have my cry and pick myself up again and continue on with life. Geez, how many of you have to put your kid in a group home, so I can only say "give me a break". Quit bitching about the small stuff.
On a more happy and positive note. Thank goodness I have friends. I went to a movie last night and then had a GREAT margarita afterwards. The great thing about that date was I didn't have to hear what an incredible woman I am, I love you but.... It was just an evening with my friend. We saw Juno. That was a really good movie. Stevie said it was.
And another cool thing, my kid came home last night with 3 other Baylor kids. One of the kids play club ice hockey for Baylor and was supposed to have a game at the Parks. It got forfeited but they came up anyway. It was really good to see him even if it was only a week since that last time. The girls were so OOHING and AWING at the pics I have displayed of Stevie. That was fun to watch. And he finally buzzed his head. He just does not look good in long hair. They are coming by here before heading back so I can make them brunch. That will make today a good day for this old lady.
At least I can say I am not spending much time on the guys that are not willing to be a part of my life. And I think my rule of NO SECOND CHANCES should continue. That would take care of guy #2. HUM... Let me think about it. Maybe I need some football to clear my head. :)

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Stupid Cowboys

I can't decide if I am mad or sad. Probably mad. What is the point of making it this far and then playing stupid football.
And... to top it off. I tell the goofy guy there is nothing between us. Can't happen, won't happen.
What do I get when the game is over. Text messages from him. He tells me he has been rejected twice in one day. Oh my.
I can't believe I am saying this but I am ready for Monday.

Today is Football Sunday

I thought I would start the day off with an update of the past week. Of course I will have a brief follow up after the outcome of today's Cowboys/Giants game. I hope it is a good report. And I don't mean for those Giants fans either.
Alright, let's start with the most important thing. My Stevie Boy left for Waco yesterday morning. I have been telling everyone I am okay, not going to miss him too much, he is only 1 1/2 hours away. WELL, I was wrong. After going over everything twice yesterday morning (meaning, how many times can I ask him to be sure he didn't forget his contacts, belts, shoes, etc.) I had to finally accept he was going to get into that car and drive off. I couldn't even say goodbye as I was crying already. I did notice he wouldn't look at me so I am thinking he was having a hard time too. Gosh, I think that is the kind of broken heart that would kill you. I am better today, but when I put his clean sheets on this morning it was obvious no one has been in the room for 24 hours. Clean and neat. I have taken the advice of my coworker Patty, both of her kids are in college and she is the same kind of parent I am. We live and breathe our kids. She just shuts the bedroom doors so she doesn't have to look in and see an empty room.
Next topic. Men. Oh my goodness. It is either feast or famine with me. This goof ball that was at the party last Saturday has turned into the biggest pest I have ever met. I am sure if I had not been for the big shot of Crown Royal I drank that night I would have never given him my phone number. This guy is 42 years old and has sent me text messages such as "You are so beautiful you make my pants go crazy" or how about this one "Otay Buckwheat" and I love this one. He "laughed his ass off" with a text response I sent him. Oh my goodness. I really think he has been hit in the head one too many times. I just can't get him to quit calling me. I will just have to be blunt and to the point. I hate being that way but some guys just don't get it until you hit them in the head with it. That is on my to do list today. On a positive note, I had dinner Friday night with a guy that my neighbor tried to fix me up with 2 years ago. I just wasn't ready to date anyone at that time. I agreed to try again. We had a wonderful evening. We laughed, had good conversation and a couple of beers too. I think we are going to try date #2 next weekend. Probably came at a good time since the "other" love interest has made it very clear what direction he will be going in. I have to respect that decision and move on. Maybe this new guy will turn out to be someone I enjoy spending time with. At least he has not said anything retarded yet. And he has not made any attempts to be anything other than a perfect gentleman. Okay, that is all for now. I will be back after the Cowboy game. Note to all concerned. Stephen is back in Waco so that will be good for today's football game. He told me every loss they have had this year he was in Arlington. As much as I miss my kid, he had to go. :)

Thursday, January 10, 2008

New Year, New Thoughts

I have not updated since the New Year's because I have been busy. Work is non-stop as usual at this time of year. I have had somewhat of a social life as well. I have been fishing as my friends call it. They need to get out and fish too. "Fishing" means I have been putting myself out there and going places where I might meet someone that would want to spend time with me. Of course you have to be open to letting that person in your space. I am working on that too.
I think my "butterfly" theory has finally come to a conclusion. It (love) is not going to come back so that means..... The love was never mine. That makes me so sad because I worry if I will ever meet someone else that I feel so comfortable with and just enjoy being with. My tendency is to find faults in a man so I don't have to "like" them. That never happened with him. Everything was good with him. And my goodness, anyone that let's me talk as much as I do must be a saint.
My faith is not as strong as it was a month ago. But I think this is the way it is supposed to be if it does not work out that we are together. I will move on and continue to "fish".
When has a broken heart ever killed anyone, right????

Thursday, January 3, 2008

New Year Update

Just a quick update of the past week. Friday night was the Trans-Siberian Orchestra concert at the AA center. That is the most incredible light show I have ever seen. And the music of course was great. I plan to see them again.
New Years Eve started with dinner with the family at Mimi's Cafe. There was 18 of us there. Stephen asked me why we started having so many family get togethers. I didn't have an answer other than we are all getting older and spending time together seems to be a priority.
New Years Eve was very low key. An old friend stopped by and we shared champagne, good conversation and watched the ball drop. It was just too cold to go anywhere. New Years day was much warmer and of course a big day for football. The games were a bit boring but nonetheless, it was football day at the Kelly house. Had a dinner date that evening and enjoyed a rather large tasty margarita.
Back to work on Wednesday for the first day of billing. Stephen is going to finish out this week, probably work on Monday and then take a few days off before heading back on the 11th. It has been great having him home and getting such a big dose of him. (work & home) He seems to be more comfortable about the upcoming semester and I think he will start to find a balance of studying and having a little fun.
My New Year's Resolution is.... I don't have one. I will continue doing what I am doing. I am going to put more effort into losing about 15 lbs. That has to happen. I will take on each day with a positive attitude and just be happy. I am sure there will be wonderful opportunities that are in store for me this year and I am ready for each one of them. My friend Kay says 2008 is going to be my year. I guess I will sit back and see what happens!!!!!