I'm sitting at my little table, drinking my coffee and watching the blue jays beat up on the squirrels in the backyard. It's the simple things that make me happy. Life seems to have calmed down a bit, Joe is still making me uneasy but only aggression towards himself so far.
I am almost through with my major home improvements. All that's left is putting the trim in and both bathroom cabinets. A little more painting of course.
I'm going to put back splash up in kitchen but probably not in the next few months. That should be an easy job.
My mom is very close to moving back into their house. Maybe 2 more weeks. The fire was Nov. 7th and they are still not finished. Holy Cow. I was able to get her a little pug/chihuahua mix puppy from a shelter. She is 2 months old. My mother and Hayes are IN LOVE. This dog is just what they needed and wanted for so long now. Losing all of your pets in a house fire is so devastating. Seeing them laying on the ground dead is just as devastating. I can never get that image out of my mind.
I finished my greenhouse. It is so so cute. I'm going to buy tomato and some other veggies to grow inside. I've got to paint it too. Man do I NOT like to paint. Oh my.
My kid is coming home tonight I think, late..... Double header at Baylor because rain tomorrow. It will be nice to spend more than 45 minutes with him for once. Well, I guess I'll wrap this up. I am seriously needing a vacation. Just trying to decide where. I want to be around water and sand. I may do a quick trip to Mexico by myself for some R&R. Yep, peace and quiet is what the Dr. is ordering for Mel.
Happy Easter and stay dry tomorrow!
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Saturday, April 4, 2009
I'm still alive & kickin
I've decided to start posting again. I need somewhere to vent my frustrations, apprehensions and thoughts.
The past 5 months have pretty much been a living hell. Joe, my older son just lost his mind and I don't know why or what brought it on. After months of violent behavior, getting kicked out of Day Hab, having to pull my car over to keep from getting hit and getting calls everyday from school I jusst broke down, took him to JPS Psychiatrist ER with the thought I was going to walk out of there without him. I was ready. But of course he is behaving like a charmed two year old listening to his DVD and ALL SMILES. The dr on staff was truely a nice woman and listened to me go on & on & on. I was crying, laughing and just hanging my head. She decided to try him on a new med. Well, the results are...... Joe is about 80% back to normal. I see smiling and laughing and happy moods. Still a little bit of aggression but nothing like before.
The moral to my storey today is....... If you have kids and they are normal. You need to get up every day and thank god he gave you that. I don't care how rotten they are. If they are rotten you probably made them that way so take responsibility. Anyway, who would have ever thought that one day my baby boy, my son that I so longed for would end up being my abuser. It is still hard for me to wrap my head around. Lot's of blaming myself too. What could I have done different.
Now on a more positive note. I have another kid that is damn near perfect or that's my story and I'm sticking to it. He is in Kansas this weekend with Baylor baseball team. Seems he has listened to one thing I always preached to him. I would tell him, kid you have to work, we aren't rich and never will be. So, the key is to wake up each day and like going to work. What could be better than making a living around baseball. Not saying it's an easy job, but doing something you love it the key to a happy life.
Happy Saturday to you! I'll be back.
The past 5 months have pretty much been a living hell. Joe, my older son just lost his mind and I don't know why or what brought it on. After months of violent behavior, getting kicked out of Day Hab, having to pull my car over to keep from getting hit and getting calls everyday from school I jusst broke down, took him to JPS Psychiatrist ER with the thought I was going to walk out of there without him. I was ready. But of course he is behaving like a charmed two year old listening to his DVD and ALL SMILES. The dr on staff was truely a nice woman and listened to me go on & on & on. I was crying, laughing and just hanging my head. She decided to try him on a new med. Well, the results are...... Joe is about 80% back to normal. I see smiling and laughing and happy moods. Still a little bit of aggression but nothing like before.
The moral to my storey today is....... If you have kids and they are normal. You need to get up every day and thank god he gave you that. I don't care how rotten they are. If they are rotten you probably made them that way so take responsibility. Anyway, who would have ever thought that one day my baby boy, my son that I so longed for would end up being my abuser. It is still hard for me to wrap my head around. Lot's of blaming myself too. What could I have done different.
Now on a more positive note. I have another kid that is damn near perfect or that's my story and I'm sticking to it. He is in Kansas this weekend with Baylor baseball team. Seems he has listened to one thing I always preached to him. I would tell him, kid you have to work, we aren't rich and never will be. So, the key is to wake up each day and like going to work. What could be better than making a living around baseball. Not saying it's an easy job, but doing something you love it the key to a happy life.
Happy Saturday to you! I'll be back.
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Thursday Thursday
Thought I'd stop and update since I have neglected to do so for quite some time now. Really not much going on. I've been a home improvement queen the past few weeks. Almost have the front flower bed done. I just need a few more piece of rock. The back flower bed can wait but gotta get that done.
Let's see. Friday night, opening ceremonies for Special O, Saturday are the track & field events. Saturday night heading to Sundance Square to see Four Day Weekend.
Sunday, Rangers vs. Minnesota.
I'm not going to get much done this weekend looks like. I'm running out of time on Stephen's room. I moved the big 36" TV back there so I had to remove the old entertainment center that was part of the 7th grade flood. That thing was wobbling like crazy. I put up shelves. Now going to install Closet Maid in the closets. (Joe & Stephen) I actually dusted all of his trophies and poor Joe went into a sneezing frenzy. I had not done that for 5 or 6 years. Oh my.
Oh, Joe said MOMMA yesterday morning. Have not heard that in at least 2 years. Yeah, I guess I can say when you start complaining about "life" and not being happy, etc. Think about what it would be like if you only heard your kid say a word every 2 - 3 years. That might help you put your life into perspective. He was funny too, he wanted me to watch Wheel of Fortune on the big screen last night. He was grinning that I stopped long enough to sit with him on the sofa.
Went to Waco last Saturday with Joe & Jacque. That was a great visit. It's so hard to believe a year of college is already completed. My goodness. He'll be home soon, working and taking summer classes. Talked to him last night. He's starting his research paper. Steroids. Shouldn't be hard to do that paper. So much in the news about that.
My friend Pam has vowed to break her long about with celibacy this year. She is being fixed up with 2 men this Sunday. Already we figured out she won't get along with one of them so she is going to send him my way. He is a motorcycle & boat guy. Right up my alley.
And, trying to figure out if a man that does the cycle class on Mon & Wed is married. He sure does look and smile. I just need to be brave enough to approach him. I'll put Crystal on that duty. Actually one of Stephen's friends works there and she said she would be on the look out for single men. I'll get her on that task.
Not really interested in a "committed" relationship right now because there's too many projects I need to finish at home, but it would be nice to find a guy that wants to do something every once in awhile. Who knows. Going to let the game come to me, right!!!!!
Let's see. Friday night, opening ceremonies for Special O, Saturday are the track & field events. Saturday night heading to Sundance Square to see Four Day Weekend.
Sunday, Rangers vs. Minnesota.
I'm not going to get much done this weekend looks like. I'm running out of time on Stephen's room. I moved the big 36" TV back there so I had to remove the old entertainment center that was part of the 7th grade flood. That thing was wobbling like crazy. I put up shelves. Now going to install Closet Maid in the closets. (Joe & Stephen) I actually dusted all of his trophies and poor Joe went into a sneezing frenzy. I had not done that for 5 or 6 years. Oh my.
Oh, Joe said MOMMA yesterday morning. Have not heard that in at least 2 years. Yeah, I guess I can say when you start complaining about "life" and not being happy, etc. Think about what it would be like if you only heard your kid say a word every 2 - 3 years. That might help you put your life into perspective. He was funny too, he wanted me to watch Wheel of Fortune on the big screen last night. He was grinning that I stopped long enough to sit with him on the sofa.
Went to Waco last Saturday with Joe & Jacque. That was a great visit. It's so hard to believe a year of college is already completed. My goodness. He'll be home soon, working and taking summer classes. Talked to him last night. He's starting his research paper. Steroids. Shouldn't be hard to do that paper. So much in the news about that.
My friend Pam has vowed to break her long about with celibacy this year. She is being fixed up with 2 men this Sunday. Already we figured out she won't get along with one of them so she is going to send him my way. He is a motorcycle & boat guy. Right up my alley.
And, trying to figure out if a man that does the cycle class on Mon & Wed is married. He sure does look and smile. I just need to be brave enough to approach him. I'll put Crystal on that duty. Actually one of Stephen's friends works there and she said she would be on the look out for single men. I'll get her on that task.
Not really interested in a "committed" relationship right now because there's too many projects I need to finish at home, but it would be nice to find a guy that wants to do something every once in awhile. Who knows. Going to let the game come to me, right!!!!!
Saturday, April 5, 2008
Finally an update - Get some coffee and enjoy
Finally I am making myself stop so I can give an update of my life. I know, like anyone really cares!
Well, in case you do this is what's been happening lately. I've been going non-stop for about 3 weeks now. Now that spring has arrived there is yard work and of course home improvements, etc. Pam and I had a curbing co. come out and curb our flowerbeds. Then we put river rock in the cement. It looked good, but even better was the acrylic application. Oh my gosh, the rocks turned different colors. I think it looks beautiful. Very unique. I came home last night and got about half of the flower bed cleaned out. That is back breaking work. I want to get that finished this weekend to get that out of the way. I've got to get cracking on Joe's room. So many things to do and such a short time frame. The Big Guy turns 21 on the 15th. Trying, trying to make his room look a bit more mannish.
Stevie boy is coming home Monday. His teaching class was cancelled for Tuesday morning and he's skipping astronomy. He and Bob have for as long as I can remember have attended Opening Day together. (the rule was I would let him skip class that day if he kept his grades up. what a joke. Like I ever had to ask him to keep his grades up) Originally he was going to drive up Tuesday after class but now I get to see him too. He doesn't know about the TV. Oh my gosh, yes, I got a 50" Panasonic Plasma. I love it. Joe loves it. I'm going to watch American Gangster tonight in HD. I've already seen the movie but it will be my first HD movie to watch. I know, too much excitement for you. I digress. The kid is going to be so surprised when he walks in and sees the TV. I may not get him out of the living room.
I've been working out, some days I feel like my pants are a bit smaller and some days I feel like bloated whale. What a battle. I will win this one. I just need to keep the damn carbs away from my mouth. Pretty simple.
Well, I need to get going. Joe and I are going Clean Up Craven's Park. It's a community/city thing today. Then need to get my hair done this afternoon and back home to finish the flower bed.
Sunday, okay your going to think I'm nuts but I learned about this group called Wildcare, Inc. They help injured animals. They nurse them back to health or if they are orphaned and then release them into the wild. They have "foster parents" that help with this. I am going to a class Sunday to learn to be a "foster parent". That is something I would love to do. If I could own an animal refuge on acres of land I would no doubt be the happiest person ever.
Nothing to update on the man scope. Looking pretty dismal now. But I'm not too worried. I've been so busy just can't worry too much about it. I know, let the game come to me. I just hope they know there is a ballpark here at 425 Revolution Lane. Should I put up signs??????
Well, in case you do this is what's been happening lately. I've been going non-stop for about 3 weeks now. Now that spring has arrived there is yard work and of course home improvements, etc. Pam and I had a curbing co. come out and curb our flowerbeds. Then we put river rock in the cement. It looked good, but even better was the acrylic application. Oh my gosh, the rocks turned different colors. I think it looks beautiful. Very unique. I came home last night and got about half of the flower bed cleaned out. That is back breaking work. I want to get that finished this weekend to get that out of the way. I've got to get cracking on Joe's room. So many things to do and such a short time frame. The Big Guy turns 21 on the 15th. Trying, trying to make his room look a bit more mannish.
Stevie boy is coming home Monday. His teaching class was cancelled for Tuesday morning and he's skipping astronomy. He and Bob have for as long as I can remember have attended Opening Day together. (the rule was I would let him skip class that day if he kept his grades up. what a joke. Like I ever had to ask him to keep his grades up) Originally he was going to drive up Tuesday after class but now I get to see him too. He doesn't know about the TV. Oh my gosh, yes, I got a 50" Panasonic Plasma. I love it. Joe loves it. I'm going to watch American Gangster tonight in HD. I've already seen the movie but it will be my first HD movie to watch. I know, too much excitement for you. I digress. The kid is going to be so surprised when he walks in and sees the TV. I may not get him out of the living room.
I've been working out, some days I feel like my pants are a bit smaller and some days I feel like bloated whale. What a battle. I will win this one. I just need to keep the damn carbs away from my mouth. Pretty simple.
Well, I need to get going. Joe and I are going Clean Up Craven's Park. It's a community/city thing today. Then need to get my hair done this afternoon and back home to finish the flower bed.
Sunday, okay your going to think I'm nuts but I learned about this group called Wildcare, Inc. They help injured animals. They nurse them back to health or if they are orphaned and then release them into the wild. They have "foster parents" that help with this. I am going to a class Sunday to learn to be a "foster parent". That is something I would love to do. If I could own an animal refuge on acres of land I would no doubt be the happiest person ever.
Nothing to update on the man scope. Looking pretty dismal now. But I'm not too worried. I've been so busy just can't worry too much about it. I know, let the game come to me. I just hope they know there is a ballpark here at 425 Revolution Lane. Should I put up signs??????
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Easter is here and Spring is in the air!!!!!!
Happy Easter to all! I love spring time. The weather is always great rain or shine. You don't have to run the a/c unit. Maybe the heat in the morning, but good time to save money on electricity. (I do have my priorities in order).
I had the insulation, caulking and weather stripping done to the house. I am really looking forward to huge savings. Also had the a/c unit serviced last night so I am ready for summer. I'm supposed to save from $100 to $150 a month on the electric bill.
Let's see. The kid is home again, he and Andrew have been hanging out. They're pretty funny together. Seguin soccer, boys & girls are in the playoffs. Or they were last night. He and Andrew drove to Ennis to watch the girls play.
I have been very diligent in my work outs. Wednesday, Crystal, Pam and I were through working out and for some reason I revealed that I have never been able to do a cartwheel. Of course both of them can. We went outside on the front area of the Y and they started doing cartwheels. That's one of my goals this year. I will do a cartwheel. Yup, I have high aspirations.
Yesterday, poor Bob. He was trying to take a day off with Angela and I pretty much beat him down with a million questions on flat screen TVs. That had to be the most difficult decision I've made in awhile. Finally we agree on one and I hit "send". That was hard to do too especially since I put the PS3 on the bill too. That's being shipped to Baylor, so the kid will be super duper surprised. I'll be tracking that delivery very very closely. I want to make sure he picks it up the minute it is delivered. The games and extra controller are on his dime.
I suppose by next week I will have my big screen TV. I just need to call Direct TV to change out the boxes, etc.
I guess that's all I have for now. Nothing going on in the love life area. I've given up on that anyway. I'm not interested in the drama of dating. I just want to meet a man, it be the right guy and the rest is easy. I just can't deal with playing hard to get, the chase, etc. That is high school behavior and I guess any guy I meet that does that should be a red flag. I guess I'm in for a long long summer! At least I plan on looking good. Just need to lose just 14 lbs and I will be a very happy woman. I know, JUST is the key word in that sentence.
Happy Easter!!!
I had the insulation, caulking and weather stripping done to the house. I am really looking forward to huge savings. Also had the a/c unit serviced last night so I am ready for summer. I'm supposed to save from $100 to $150 a month on the electric bill.
Let's see. The kid is home again, he and Andrew have been hanging out. They're pretty funny together. Seguin soccer, boys & girls are in the playoffs. Or they were last night. He and Andrew drove to Ennis to watch the girls play.
I have been very diligent in my work outs. Wednesday, Crystal, Pam and I were through working out and for some reason I revealed that I have never been able to do a cartwheel. Of course both of them can. We went outside on the front area of the Y and they started doing cartwheels. That's one of my goals this year. I will do a cartwheel. Yup, I have high aspirations.
Yesterday, poor Bob. He was trying to take a day off with Angela and I pretty much beat him down with a million questions on flat screen TVs. That had to be the most difficult decision I've made in awhile. Finally we agree on one and I hit "send". That was hard to do too especially since I put the PS3 on the bill too. That's being shipped to Baylor, so the kid will be super duper surprised. I'll be tracking that delivery very very closely. I want to make sure he picks it up the minute it is delivered. The games and extra controller are on his dime.
I suppose by next week I will have my big screen TV. I just need to call Direct TV to change out the boxes, etc.
I guess that's all I have for now. Nothing going on in the love life area. I've given up on that anyway. I'm not interested in the drama of dating. I just want to meet a man, it be the right guy and the rest is easy. I just can't deal with playing hard to get, the chase, etc. That is high school behavior and I guess any guy I meet that does that should be a red flag. I guess I'm in for a long long summer! At least I plan on looking good. Just need to lose just 14 lbs and I will be a very happy woman. I know, JUST is the key word in that sentence.
Happy Easter!!!
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Spring Break
I am proud to announce my son, my baby darling baby boy is at a barber shop right now, 7:00 a.m. Saturday morning having the initials of BU cut into his hair. Then he plans to dye his hair green for St. Patty's Day.
He told me this last night. Of course I have to remind myself we had just accepted over 13,000 in grants and scholarships at Baylor for the Fall and Spring of next year so I really shouldn't worry too much, right?
Part of me is glad he finally having fun. He has been so dry & driven and now he is finally letting loose. He has plans to drive to Oklahoma weekend after next with another student to watch the Rangers & White Sox play. Then they will watch the Baylor/Oklahoma game that Saturday. I think they are going to spend the night with a high school classmate in Oklahoma now.
My brother is on his way to Oklahoma. I am praying that Jim Brown can help him get his life back and on the road to living without drugs & alcohol. That will take a miracle.
Nothing else going on. I have been having fun hanging out with my neighbor, Pam. She is alot like me and just a fun person to hang out with. We went to Whiz Q Stone on Wednesday. We were acting like two kids in a candy store. I swear we walked away from that place with about 10 more things on our home improvement to do list. And she has been working out with me too. Actually Sonja, me Pam and now my neighbor Crystal have been spending time working out together. I think we are going to try to do St. Patty's Day at Gilligan's. Maybe I will run into the young man that was flirting with me when the insulation crew came to work on my house Wednesday. That kid was so obvious. He went to Home Depot to get weatherstripping for my door so I said, "while your out will you get a gallon of milk, honey". We laughed and he said he would never buy 2% milk. I didn't even notice when he returned, but I went to the fridge to get a piece of Turkey (I was hungry) and there sits a gallon of milk. It wouldn't surprise me if he didn't show up at Gilligan's on Monday. I told him I was going there with friends.
We shall see......
I am going to try a Yoga class today. It is supposed to put you in a tranquil mood. If that is the truth, then maybe I need to do Yoga everyday.
Next update tomorrow.
He told me this last night. Of course I have to remind myself we had just accepted over 13,000 in grants and scholarships at Baylor for the Fall and Spring of next year so I really shouldn't worry too much, right?
Part of me is glad he finally having fun. He has been so dry & driven and now he is finally letting loose. He has plans to drive to Oklahoma weekend after next with another student to watch the Rangers & White Sox play. Then they will watch the Baylor/Oklahoma game that Saturday. I think they are going to spend the night with a high school classmate in Oklahoma now.
My brother is on his way to Oklahoma. I am praying that Jim Brown can help him get his life back and on the road to living without drugs & alcohol. That will take a miracle.
Nothing else going on. I have been having fun hanging out with my neighbor, Pam. She is alot like me and just a fun person to hang out with. We went to Whiz Q Stone on Wednesday. We were acting like two kids in a candy store. I swear we walked away from that place with about 10 more things on our home improvement to do list. And she has been working out with me too. Actually Sonja, me Pam and now my neighbor Crystal have been spending time working out together. I think we are going to try to do St. Patty's Day at Gilligan's. Maybe I will run into the young man that was flirting with me when the insulation crew came to work on my house Wednesday. That kid was so obvious. He went to Home Depot to get weatherstripping for my door so I said, "while your out will you get a gallon of milk, honey". We laughed and he said he would never buy 2% milk. I didn't even notice when he returned, but I went to the fridge to get a piece of Turkey (I was hungry) and there sits a gallon of milk. It wouldn't surprise me if he didn't show up at Gilligan's on Monday. I told him I was going there with friends.
We shall see......
I am going to try a Yoga class today. It is supposed to put you in a tranquil mood. If that is the truth, then maybe I need to do Yoga everyday.
Next update tomorrow.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Tuesday - Gotta be a better day
Oh my gosh. Sunday & Monday are behind me thank goodness. Big hiccups with oil & gas land company and then I learn my brother has been arrested and is in jail. Let's see, domestic violence, domestic violence intimidation, disorderly conduct, drug possession & drug paraphernalia. And they let him walk out of the jail. Idiots. I told the jailer they made a huge mistake by letting him out. He agreed but said the judge makes the calls.
I finally got to bed at 11:30 last night. Lot's of phone calls regarding Mike. I just shake my head in disbelief. How could this man with super intelligence fall so far off the ladder. I just don't get it. We were raised in the same house.
An angel did call me last night. Jim Brown. He wants Mike to come to Oklahoma and he will get him back on track and back to success. Big job. He was so calming and convincing I almost believe he can do it. He has a long history with my brother.
Of course Mike calls me at 2:15 a.m. I thought I dreamed the phone was ringing.
I sure hope Stephen doesn't need me in the middle of the night. He will be out of luck. This girl does not have trouble sleeping. Just lay me horizontal and I am gone.
I have tomorrow & thursday off. I can't wait. Just going to do stuff around the house and spoil my kid. I know, I already do that but at least I can spoil him even more. :)
I finally got to bed at 11:30 last night. Lot's of phone calls regarding Mike. I just shake my head in disbelief. How could this man with super intelligence fall so far off the ladder. I just don't get it. We were raised in the same house.
An angel did call me last night. Jim Brown. He wants Mike to come to Oklahoma and he will get him back on track and back to success. Big job. He was so calming and convincing I almost believe he can do it. He has a long history with my brother.
Of course Mike calls me at 2:15 a.m. I thought I dreamed the phone was ringing.
I sure hope Stephen doesn't need me in the middle of the night. He will be out of luck. This girl does not have trouble sleeping. Just lay me horizontal and I am gone.
I have tomorrow & thursday off. I can't wait. Just going to do stuff around the house and spoil my kid. I know, I already do that but at least I can spoil him even more. :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
.jpg)
